For a laugh

You Can’t Fix Stupid: Advice for the Tide Pod Generation

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This is just unbelievable, folks. There are actually people eating Tide detergent pods and dying from it. When I first heard about this I was speechless. When I heard it happened to more than one person I wondered why people could be that stupid. When I was younger, I never looked at powdered detergent and thought, “Gee, I bet with an egg and some vanilla extract that would make some pretty awesome cookies!!!” Then I began to hear that some government officials wanted to make a law that these Tide Pods be made less attractive so people won’t eat them. Really???? Are you kidding me right now???? How stupid have our society and our leaders become?! So, here’s my advice for the Tide Pod Eaters who seem to love eating pretty things….eat something off my “Pretty Things That Are Actually Edible” list.

Pretty Things That Are Actually Edible:

Soda. It comes in such fun colors and has fizzy little bubbles for that extra sparkle.

Ice. Those clear little cubes of ice are so pretty to look at and if you add some food coloring you can make some amazing colors.

Jello. What can be prettier and more fun than colorful, jiggly, sweet stuff that you can also slurp!!!!

Lollipops. The fun color, the awesome flavors, the interesting shapes, and the fun formats (such as ring, pacifiers, and gum centers) make lollipops a way better option than Tide Pods.

Strawberries. I just love those cone-shaped, red beauties. They are also sweet alone or dipped in chocolate.

Whipped Cream. If you are a really crazy person, you can even spray this pretty stuff straight out of the can and into your mouth.

Fun-fetti Cake. Hey, Tide Pod kids….they make a cake that looks like there is colorful confetti inside AND they make a matching icing!!!

Minion Ice Cream Treats. Run after the ice cream truck one day and you will find a super pretty, minion-shaped, ice cream treat! The eyeball is even a piece of black bubble gum. It’s so fun to eat!

M & M Candies. Okay, there is NO excuse to eat a detergent pod when you can get absolutely any color you want in a pack of M & M candies.

Corn on the Cob. Who hasn’t marvelled at the beautiful rows of yellow corn kernels, all lined up on the cob and dripping with butter?! It’s such a beautiful sight and it tastes so sweet. You adventurous detergent-pod-eaters should love the extra thrill of ripping from the cob with your teeth!

I could literally go on all day naming beautiful AND edible things that you could put in your mouth. So the next time you feel tempted to eat a pretty detergent pod, refer to my list and be rescued! Why not grab your notebook and make a list of your own favorite, edible beauties!

Listfully yours,

Vicki

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Musical Wisdom: Lessons From Children’s Songs

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Everyone seeks out wisdom from many different sources during a lifetime. Sometimes we get wisdom from our parents, our teachers, our Bibles, our friends, a minister, a therapist, or even self help books. Over my past 30 years as a music teacher, I have gained a lot of wisdom from the sources listed in the previous sentence, but I’ve also learned a lot from children’s songs!  Here’s the list!

 

 

  • If You’re Happy and You Know It.  You’ve known this song since preschool, but do you really get the message?  It says, “If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it.” Did you catch that? YOUR FACE WILL SURELY SHOW IT!!! People, please, please, please put a smile on your faces once in a while. I can’t tell you how tired I am of seeing grouchy people walking around. I know everyone is NOT miserable, but nobody is telling their face that they are happy! When I make eye contact with someone, I smile….. even when I feel grumpy. I know this sounds crazy, but I even pass people at church and work, who know me well, and they don’t make eye contact and they don’t smile. Let’s change that. If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it.  SMILE!!!!

 

 

 

  • The Itsy Bitsy Spider. Everyone knows the Itsy Bitsy Spider. He’s the guy that was climbing up the waterspout and a poorly timed rain storm came through and washed him to the bottom.  Do you remember what he did after the storm? Yes! He went up the spout again!  The lesson? Life is going to bring you many rain storms that will set you back a mile. Don’t quit. When the storm is over, get up and get going up the spout again. That spider didn’t curse the storm. He didn’t blame the spout for his problems. He didn’t say, “I cam from a bad water spout environment and I can’t climb out.” He simply got up and got his eight little legs walking again. Have the perseverance of the Itsy Bitsy Spider.

 

 

  1. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. That star sure looks like a diamond up there! How I wonder what you are! The message of this song is to slow down long enough to look up or to look around and enjoy the beauty of God’s creation around you. Check out the next full moon.  Teachers hate full moons because they make the students go crazy, but if you gaze up in the sky at one of those things, you will be in awe of how gorgeous the moon is and it is simply reflecting the sun’s light! It’s amazing! Look at your mountains. Look at your snow. Look at your sandy beaches. Be in awe of that massively strong ocean that throws its waves at the shore. Take time to admire the world around you. It will lift your spirits and help you feel more gratitude and joy!

 

 

  • I Know An Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly.  The lady in this song is a maniac. She begins by swallowing a fly. Then she says, “Why did I eat that thing? Now I need to swallow a spider to get it.” But after the spider is swallowed, the lady has more regrets and swallows a bird to get it. It doesn’t end there, you know. She has to swallow a cat, a dog, a cow, and a horse….and then BOOM….she explodes and dies.  Wait, what?! That’s crazy. There’s a couple lessons her. Number one, don’t eat food until you explode. I can’t even imagine how many weight watchers points she consumed in that song. Food won’t fix your problems, so don’t eat until you explode. Lesson two, don’t bite off more than you can chew. When your life is busy and you are feeling frantic trying to keep up, make sure you are strong enough to say NO to people who come to pile jobs on your plate. Look out for yourself and your family. You don’t have to take on every volunteer opportunity that comes your way. You don’t have to be on every committee at work. You don’t have to fill every waking moment of your day with tasks. The Old Lady shows us that taking on too much will cause us to explode emotionally, mentally, or even physically.  Slow down and enjoy some quiet times.

 

 

 

  • The Farmer In the Dell. Do you remember singing about the old farmer? He is a very smart guy. He chose to take his wife in the song. Then, in turn, the wife took the nurse, the nurse chose the child, the child grabbed the dog, the dog wanted the cat and the cat chose the rat. At the end of this old song we find the cheese standing alone. (It must have been some kind of stinky cheese.) Are you wondering what gem we can learn from this song? Here it is….choose the people that you keep in your life carefully. Decide who you will keep close to you and decide who the stinky cheese people are in your life! I’ll go a step further. Keep those special people close to you and SPEND TIME WITH THEM. Those great people in your life are the ones that bring you joy and love doing life with you, so make time for them and keep them close. Be sure that you are aware of the stinky cheese people in your life, too. Keep their drama and their negativity at arms length. Know when to cut ties completely, too. I believe we are called to serve one another and to comfort and encourage one another, but we’ve all had extreme cases where a person was just too toxic to stay around. Be aware and be wise about it. Keeping loved ones close and “stinky cheeses” far, will keep you healthy and happy, just like the Farmer in the Dell.

 

 

There you have it. Wisdom from children’s songs and a 30 year veteran music teacher. I hope at least one of these songs made you stop and think today! If nothing else, I hope something made you laugh! Maybe I’ll even get to see a few more smiles out in public!

 

Listfully yours,

 

Vicki

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What Did You Say? Five Quotes I Love

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By now you may have noticed that I LOVE lists. Today I’m going to share my five favorite quotes. I have journals full of memorable and inspiring quotes for all occasions and it was very hard to choose only five, but there are the five I’ve chosen to share with you today.

  1. Decide right now if this situation is going to make you BETTER or BITTER and then live like it.   I first heard those words from a good friend of mine when I found out that my husband had cheated on me and left. Of course, no one intends to set out to become a bitter old person, so I chose to become better. This was not an easy choice to stick with every day. There were many ups and downs and many days were just like hell on earth, but whenever I was totally overwhelmed, I remind myself that I was not going to let this ruin me and I chose “better”…..joy, peace, happiness, forgiveness, and determination.

2. Fear not for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold onto you with my righteous right hand. –God, Isaiah 41:10 CSB.  I am not ashamed to admit that I am a Christ-follower so the Bible is a great source of encouragement, motivation, challenge, and correction for me.  I have experienced so many situations in which God has truly protected me and intervened on my behalf. In the previously mentioned divorce, when I was too discouraged, too hopeless, and too weak to press on, I experienced the strength of God to continue on and felt His presence holding me up while I plodded ahead with life.

3. If it ain’t good, God ain’t done. –Perry Noble, Pastor of NewSpring Church.  I heard Pastor Perry say this many, many, many times in his sermons and fell in love with the southern, country-folk way of saying it!  This is another quote that actually based on the Bible. Romans 8:28 says, “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.”   This isn’t a promise that things will turn out the way YOU want them, it’s a promise that when the situation is resolved you will have peace and joy and be better and stronger for it!  In the case of my divorce, God didn’t miraculously make my ex-husband come back to me with a huge apology and act like the perfect Christian man again. What God did do was to give me strength, provide for me in many ways, encourage me, help me to grow closer to Him to become a much stronger Christian, and give me a peace that I never could have attained on my own. On top of that, several years later God blessed me with a second chance at marriage.

4. Pray as if everything depended on God and work as if everything depended on you. –Saint Ignatius Loyola.  Prayer is NOT a crutch, a magic potion, or an easy way to get things done. Prayer is letting your needs be made known to God. When I began looking for my first teaching job, I sure did pray and ask God to provide me a job. I did not, however, sit on my sofa waiting for the phone to ring with an offer. I filled out applications. I went to interviews. I scoured the newspapers (yes…this was “back in the day” before websites compiled a list of jobs for you) and even made dozens of phone calls.  In short, I believed God would provide me with a job, but I worked hard at finding it!

5. If you have a choice between being right and being kind, choose kind. –Dr. Wayne M. Dyer (made popular in the book entitled Wonder.)  I love this one, but this one can be a little difficult at times. My ex-husband’s mother was one of the most hateful women that I ever met. I won’t go into detail, but it was obvious that she did not choose joy, kindness or gratitude. She chose to be bitter, mean and entitled. On numerous occasions I could hear her through the phone, talking to her son and saying terrible things about me sprinkled through with profanities. I wanted to yell at her, tell her she was an awful human and punch her in the face, but instead, I chose kindness. I kept my mouth shut, prayed a lot, and now have no regrets. Treat people kindly, even when they aren’t practicing kindness. They will never expect it. 

So, friends, those are five of my favorite quotes. I hope you will find some encouragement in this list! Grab a pen and notebook and start recording your own favorites or share them in the comments below!

Listfully yours,

Vicki

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The Rundown!

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The rundown.  What is that?  Well, according to the Google online dictionary, a rundown is “an analysis or summary of something by a knowledgeable person.”  That’s where I come in! I am your knowledgeable person! Before anyone thinks that I have a very big head, let me just say that I am not saying that I am knowledgeable in everything…I’m just saying that I’m knowledgeable in the things in which I am knowledgeable.  In other words, I’m not going to claim to be an expert if I have no clue what I’m talking about.

Now, I plan on sharing all this knowledge in the form of lists with explanations.  Lists are my favorite kind of writing.  Some of my favorite lists include:

  • To-do lists (which I sometimes find myself adding things that I’ve done that weren’t on the list just for the pleasure of crossing them out.)
  • Shopping Lists…because I forget key items if I don’t list
  • Wish Lists (do you want access to my Amazon wishlist so you can gift me with something nice?)
  • Goals…something I’m working on for the new year
  • Favorite Bible verses and quotes

So here is my first piece of advice.  Start your own lists!  Here’s what you’ll need: (Yay! another list!)

  • Notebooks/Journals.  I’m a journal junkie. I have journals that I created with my own photos at Shutterfly.  I have journals that I got as gifts. Some of my favorites are from bookstores.  You can always get any notebook from your local Target, but find a cute one!
  • Pens and Pencils.  Have I also told you that I’m addicted to pens?!  Get some that are fun to write with and have a sporty color. You can even use colored pencils and highlighters if that’s what you like!
  • Time.  Lists take no time at all so keep your journal close by…maybe even in your purse, backpack or briefcase.  Some of my best shopping and to do lists are created at long traffic lights.  Always be prepared.

So, now that you know that I will be imparting all kinds of knowledge in creative list form, be sure to come back and visit often!

Listfully Yours,

Vicki